What’s going on at the moment? I’m really starting to wonder if there’s something I’m supposed to figure out ~ like a message. If things really do come in threes, I hope I’m done for now. Here’s the current round of 3 disasters:
We’re still living in mouse-fallout-chaos. No more sign of Mickey above board (the pest lady assures me he’s staying down low and munching happily on the poison), but all my food is in plastic crates in the living room, and I’m getting pretty fed up with it. There are kitchen bits and bobs all over the counters because I don’t want to put them away in the cupboard yet until I have the ‘all clear’ on mousey. It’s way too hectic in there.
Week before last, I crashed my car. It’s an old car, and it didn’t fare well from the incident. The bumper of the car in front was hardly damaged. Mine is officially an uneconomic repair. I should be glad it was just a minor bang and no-one got hurt. But, mea culpa, so there goes the £250 excess on my insurance, and the loss of my no-claims bonus, and whatever I’ve got to spend on getting it roadworthy again.
Mum had a heart attack last week. She’s home and well, but tired. Recovery can take a while. And there are life changes to be made, which I’m signing up for in solidarity, and because I’ve become too unfit and just too heavy again. I don’t want to be heading the same way. But the cheese and cake addiction is having a full-on frenzied party with me at the moment. I don’t know what came first, the stress or the bad eating. The cycle is feeding itself nicely though.
There isn’t a lot of inspiration happening here, and I feel like I should apologize for that. I feel like I need to retreat into a little cubby hole and have a think about what I want to be creating with my energies next year. Or just ‘not think’ for a while. Wait, and feel.
I’m getting pissed off with the uni art course too. I’m so bogged down with documenting my learning and the processes that I’m hardly creating any art. Or I’m having to spend way more time than I have available to me preparing briefs that I’m just not interested in doing. And everything is squeezed into such a compact amount of time, that I don’t get to research or flow or develop my ideas. Some weeks it feels like I’m on one of those gameshows, where you’ve got 30 minutes to create a tower out of stockings, or a boat out of eggboxes. I’m bored with it, and uninspired.
Art Brief ~ The Box As Identity or something ...
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Sending well wishes and healing energies to your mother, Sam… My goodness, how life stops on a dime when it concerns those we love. I think the life changes are a good thing, since genetically, you may be inclined to repeat these health issues…
Ick to the mouse. I feel your pain, where we moved, Sam, had a bit of a bugaroo problem. We have had the house sprayed, but every time I see one of those creepy crawlies, I throw up a little.
I am hoping for better days on the horizon! It seems that we’ve all been experiencing some changes lately. I’m glad for the sisterhood to pull us through!!
Much love to you!
Dear Cam, thank you honey. She’s doing really well. I think we can start to look forward to Christmas again now. Blessings.
First a giant-sized warm hug for YOU. I’ve missed your ‘voice’, here and everywhere, and wondered, yes I did, what was up. Next the same hug, more gently, for Mum. What a scare! and to hear you were in an accident, well my very OWN heart didn’t do well with THAT information. screw the mousey, for now … I just want to come be in the same room with you for a while, get my guts reassured that “yes, there she is, deep breath, you can go now” …
and since you didn’t mention your new friend, I’m thinking all must be well there. Good.
As for the energies and directions, as you well know Sam, that shifts every freakin’ moment, right? so if you need to just let it be a big gust or a little exhalation, as it comes, so be it. You’ll sort it all out but when you’re already tired and have other frustrations of the reality sort that require your immediate attention, then you’re doing yourself a huge favor by getting that shite out of the way as best you’re able before tackling, tickling, or otherwise interacting with the soul stuff that needs honing.
Oh, bless you Dear One…I had no idea any of this was going on!!Ack…I’ve obviously not paid you any visit…..
((((hugs))))) Glad that Mum is on the mend though — such a scary thing — and a car accident?!? sometimes it’s these big frights that get us to stop and take a breath and realize that we can’t be all and do all, all of the time. It sounds cliche, I know, but it’s such a big truth of a thing.
Sending you some big love while you’re burrowed in….
xoxoxo
Hey Sam, things do come in threes and I sense that part of the learning here is to go with the flow. Uni journal work is a pain, but it is also important. Reflection and Response are my two favourite words when it comes to my art journals. It gives me the opportunity to be honest about what I”m trying to create and keep me on tract with my 3 ALL TIME FAVOURITE WORDS – Concept/Context/Content. My journal is a tracker and allows me to always meet the rubric for assessment. The other plus with a journal is this – as humans on this planet we are daily faced with the ever increasing reality that is our lack of Will. A journal for me has become part of my art practice in developing the forces of the Will.
Just some food for thought. Let go, don’t fight it, embrace it and let it work for you. Much love to my favourite antipodeans. Shanti
Oh damn, that should read ………..and keep me on track (not tract)